The Adventures of Lucas and Joey
by Johto Jedi
Summary: *Half credit goes to the user 64foxball* Imagine what would happen if Lucas from Mother 3 went on an adventure with a narwhal, Ness, the Kazoo Kid, MatPat, Waluigi's anti-vaxed daughter, Batman, Edward Elric, and PLENTY of others because Waluigi told him to? Welcome to this story. You'll wish you never read it. -From the authors of Nintendo Fighter School and Nintendo Fighter High-
1. Lucas

**Note: This Creation is not fully mine. I would like to give half credit to my friend, Alex. We started making this together as a school project when we were little, and I only did half of the work, so the the other half goes to him. Thanks!**

_Boom._

The world of darkness faded back into light. It looked like a small child´s bedroom when the parents don´t clean it, only that it was the size of an entire state. He slowly got up. His legs felt like stale wood, his body a hundred-pound weight he couldn't lift. He pulled himself up. After sitting curled up in fear since _the Dragon_ woke up, walking felt strange to him, especially for his twisted ankle. The boy limped forward. No one was around him. He tried calling his friends. He felt a tear well in his eye. He called again, and again, and again. Nobody came, until finally he could hear multiple footsteps, and what sounded like a dog barking, faintly.

Excitement built up inside him. He looked up slowly. Before him was the most horrid beast he had ever laid eyes on, with two humans heads growing out of the body of a dog with a snake for a tail. At the sight, he knew what had happened. He tried to stop himself from believing. He looked up again. It was still there. With no other hope, he ran. Ran away from the mess. Despite the pain in his legs, his eyes had won the battle. When the beast was fully out of sight, he fell over onto the post-apocalyptic ground. He looked around him. Water. Perfect. He stumbled towards it and let himself drop in. There was no time for life when the world was like this. _Splash._ His body fell into the water. He let it drop down, down, down bellow the surface. This was the end.

Goodbye.


	2. Joey

Joey the Narwacornihorn (narwhal with a unicorn FOR a horn; a type of chimera) was happily swimming in the ocean like a normal sea creature, while humming Love Yourself by Justin Bieber, his favorite artist. The fish seemed too annoyed by his music taste, so there weren't many around. He decided to swim up a little. While swimming around in circles, something caught his eye. A streak of yellow drifted down from the surface. He decided to watch. It got closer and revealed to be a teenager, a young one about twelve to fifteen.

¨Wow! Is that Justin Bieber?¨

Joey swam closer to the body. It wasn't Justin Bieber. It was a young boy about thirteen or fourteen. His torso was covered with a torn and faded yellow T-shirt with blood red stripes. The apparel on his legs was a ripped up pair of denim shorts, and a single orange sneaker was equipped to his right foot, the left one bare. Long, blond hair flowed above his face as he sunk below the waves.

¨Aw, man,¨ Joeys said. ¨I thought it was Justin Bieber. But I'm not biased! I will save anyone. Hold on my little biscuit! Joey is here to save you!¨

Joey let the boy fall onto his back. He felt the child's heart beat on his back. He was still alive, for now. With all his might, the strange chimera swam as fast as he can to top of the water. He looked back at were the kid had come from. To violent. He went back under and used his magical chimera powers to go, within second, to the next closest land: Wawa beach.


	3. Wawa

Wawa Beach. It was like a fanfiction. If you looked only at the beginning of it, it would appear to be a beach of golden sand peppered with colorful bits of coral and sea glass. Move in only a couple of steps and it has already turned into heck. The mainland was covered in demolished Wawa buildings with rainbow colored birds guarding the last bits of sandwich remains to feed to their imaginary friends. Palm trees grew out of the ground sideways and looked like Link in those Wind Waker memes. A single beach house stood in the center. I was purple. Weird.

Joey dropped the young boy on the sand. The second they had left the WOODER (this IS Wawa Beach, so i´m gonna talk with a Philadelphian accent as long as the characters are here. WOODER. FAREST. SAWFLY. SURUP. GO BIRDS), his hair had begun to dry up. Once it was was dry, it already started sticking up on its own. It looked like Jimmy Neutron´s hair, but blonde. He slowly got up and coughed up a turtle.

"The heck am I?"

"Wawa Beach."

"Where?"

Joey looked at him. "You know, Wawa beach. It's a beach."

The kid looked annoyed. "Yeah, I could tell."

"So anyway," Joey stared at the kid. He had decided on an age: thirteen. It just made sense. "What's your name?"

"What are you doing, anyway?"

"I'm saving you, or course! My name is Joey."

"Oh, you must be one of those chimera."

"And your name is..."

"How do I know you're not just some... nevermind."

"So what's your name?"

"Fine. I- I'm... Lucas. Yeah. Lucas."

"Well, Lucas-"

Lucas had already left. He was walking to the weird purple house.

Joey looked over. "Lucas, wait up!"

The moody teenager ignored him.

Lucas continued walking until he reached the door. The second his fingers merely touched the doorknob, It slammed open before he could look inside. A stampede of tall, skinny men in ugly purple suits ran out, almost trampling him. Joey, however, didn't know it was an almost.

"The kid! The kid! He's in trouble! I have to- _oof_."

The stampede had gotten to him. Lucas couldn't help but watch. A strange look crossed his face. As he looked back the doorway, he almost jumped, well, he did jump. Some weird dude was standing in the doorway. He looked like the tall men, except he looked less like a puppet, his mustache was more professional, and he had a golden aura surrounding his body.

The man also had kinder eyes. He looked at Lucas carefully. "Sorry about those guy. Those were just my followers. They can get a little (Waaaah) out of hand sometimes. You must be looking for shelter from all of the recent (Wah) chaos, right?"

"Yeah."

"I can help you." The man's kindness in his eyes lessened. "How _did_ all of this chaos happen, anyway?"

Lucas felt queasy. "I-I did it."

"That's it. WAAAAAAAA!"

The strange man grabbed Lucas' arm and dragged him into the beach house. The door closed without anyone touching it. The strange man vanished, Lucas with him. And the second he vanished, the "followers" did the same. That left Joey alone on the chaotic fanfiction-like beach. He got up. Slowly. He looked around him and wondered where the skinny men went. But then he realised the kid was gone, too.

"Lucas!"

No answer.

"Lucas, where are you?!"

Nothing.

Joey looked around and realized the house. The kid _must_ be in there! He ran to the house. To his surprise, the door was opened. He looked around. It was a rather odd place. He couldn't hear a single noise besides his own involuntary actions and footsteps, or more like finsteps? I don't know. He called Lucas' name over and over and over again, but the moody little teenager didn't respond. As he approached a door, he could faintly hear two noises: laughing and negotiating. Negotiating! Lucas was somewhere behind that door. He tried to open it. It was locked. Using his magical chimera powers, he busted through the door.

It was a staircase. He went down it and gasped. It was a basement. It was neon pink. And there were pictures of Justin Bieber everywhere!

"Lucas, did I hear your voice?", he called.

He heard a bit of muffled noise. It sounded angry. Lucas' voice.

Joey stepped into the basement. It was large. after a couple seconds of looking around, he saw it. And he gasped, again. There was a man there that looked like Robbie Rotten, but in purple, kind of like the stampeding men.

"Spill it, Thanos."

Joey gasped a third time. Next to the man was a light barrier. In it was a young boy sitting on his knees. His arms were drooped and his head was down.

It was Lucas.


	4. God

"Lucas!"

The skinny god-like figure cackled. "You know this Thanos of a child?"

Joey looked offended. "Don't call my friend a Thanos! He's capable of so many things. He can..."

Lucas looked up. "Kill my friends? Yup. I can definitely do that."

"See?! He's a Thanos!"

Lucas, finally realizing that he had been kidnapped, stood up. "Who are you, anyway? I, master of the Dragon, command an answer."

"I'm God."

"Gods are supposed to be saviors," Lucas protested. "You're just a creep."

"Listen up, kid (WAAAA). You were also supposed to be a savior, but you're Thanos!"

"I don't even know what Thanos means. As I was saying, who the hell are you?"

"God. But if you're looking for a more specific answer, W-w-waaaaaaaaaluigi!"

Joey gasped. Again. "Waluigi?! I've heard of you! You're the god of future and fate. You have two children. ONE OF WHICH IS JUSTIN BIEBER!"

"You've heard of my (WAAAAA) son?"

Waluigi was distracted and he didn't realize it when the light barrier disappeared around Lucas' body. Lucas took this as an opportunity to get revenge on his captor.

"PK Love!"

For some reason, Joey saw this as a sign of affection. He opened his mouth. Oddly, he _swallowed_ the PSI. "Aww, you love me?"

"What the..." Lucas stared at the magical chimera.

Waluigi burst out in anger and sent the entire house launched into US Airspace. Joey started to get rather motion sick from this, so he started eating a picture of Justin Bieber. It made his nausea go away. Waluigi got even angrier. He scolded Joey harshly. Oof.

"Why are you eating a picture of my (WAAAAA) son?!"

"Because he is beautiful."

"(WAAA) Thank you, but THAT IS NOT A VALID EXCUSE."

Waluigi snapped his fingers (and here he is saying that Lucas is Thanos) and summoned his followers, who destroyed the entire basement. Quickly, Waluigi came up with a wonderful awful idea. before the child could suffocate in space, he snapped his fingers again and recreated the basement entirely, photos and all.

"Thanos, you must obey me!"

Joey looked really sad. Like, really REALLY sad. "Mr. Waluigi, could you please stop hurting my friend?"

"I'll let the kid decide." Waluigi used his god-like psychic powers to pull Lucas towards him. "Tell me how this all happened."

"I don't know. The world was normal then dark, then normal again. When the light came back, everyone turned into... Well, this." Lucas pointed at Joey, who started chewing the photo with more grace.

Waluigi took a five second pause. He broke the awkward silence by saying, "Fine. I won't hurt you, but under ONE CONDITION."

"And that is..."

Waluigi crossed his arms. "You must bring me ALL non-chimera survivors. Every one of them. Bring them to me and I will sacrifice every. Single. One of them. Got that?"

"Sure."

"Good. WAAAAAAAAAAA-ha-ha-ha-ha!"


	5. Chimera

**Alex now has his own account. Check out "Nintendo Fighter High" or visit 64foxball (in authors).**

_Scubadoosh_. The boy and chimera vanished from the odd god's sight. Waluigi cackled, then went back upstairs to write Wattpads about his son. It was very enjoyable to him, but I, the narrator, believe his actions were quite evil. As you can probably tell, I'm a writer for FanFiction. If you didn't know that, get yourself a life. Anyways, Wattpad and FanFiction are basically rivals, so I'm not too jazzed about that. ANYWAY, back to the story. I'll get back up on rivalries later.".

The duo landed in a rainforest. There was a lab. There was also a sign that read "Rainforest Lab. A chill went up Lucas' spine.

"No no no no no..."

"What's wrong, Lucas?"

"We need to get out of here NOW."

"Why?"

A large pink thing emerged from the bushes. It was weird. It had cat-like ears, purple wings, a yellow devil tail, and its mouth ran all the way from its head to its butt. A bird sat on its head, guarding a silvery button on its back. It was an Ultimate Chimera. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaa

Joey, however, didn't look scared. He calmly approached the beast. "Aww, it's a doggo!"

Joey gently stroked the beast's head. It was very fluffy. The Ultimate Chimera stood still. He enjoyed the petting very much. Lucas looked like someone had just said that Friday the 13th was on a did not understand Joey's actions. Joey continued petting it until it barked happily and ran away.

Lucas was still confused. "What to heck?"

"What?"

"well, actually...", Lucas sighed. "Nothing."

"C'mon, Lucas. Let's go find more survivors. Don't want Waluigi to kidnap you again, do you?"

Lucas looked determined. He clenched his fist and looked up. "Okay, let's do this."

Just as he said that, a feint "okey" could be heard in the distance.

"Hello," Joey asked. "Is someone here? I'm glad to be your friend."

"Show yourself!", Lucas shouted.

"Okey."

"Seriously this IS creeping me out," Lucas muttered. "Why does that voice just keep saying-"

"OKEY"

"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP?"

A small child emerged from some large ferns. Lucas thought he might have remembered that kid from somewhere. That's right. He saw that kid in the movie in New Pork.

"Hello," the child said. "My name is Ness. I was playing with a time machine and ended up here."


	6. Fire

"Okay great," Lucas replied.

"Okey."

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT?!"

"Okey."

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUHG"

"I meant it in conte-"

"I honestly don't care."

"Sorry." Ness paused. "there's something I have to tell you."

"What."

"I'm the reason the light was restored."

"NANI," Lucas screamed.

"I taught the Dark Dragon PK Flash," Ness said.

"Whatever. Let's just keep going."

And thus they did kept going. They walked and walked and walked. Until suddenly...

Lucas stopped walking.

"What's wrong?", Joey asked.

"I smell..." Lucas paused. "Smoke. Is someone doing juul?"

Joey screamed. "FIRE! STOP DROP AND ROLL! STOP DROP AND ROLL! STOP DROP AND ROLLLLLL!"

"Relax," Lucas groaned. "It's just fire."

"_'Just _fire'?! What?!", Ness and Joey said in unison.

"Don't get me started," Lucas smirked. "I've dealt with that stuff PLENTY of times."

Ness looked confused.

"I smell life where the fire is coming from!", said Joey. "Hold on, biscuits! Joey's here to save you!"

"So," Ness asked. "We should go TOWARDS it?!"

"Yes."

The party followed the smoke sent. It took awhile, but eventually they found a huge fire on some bushes. The flames shimmered and cracked, sending smoke everywhere. Lucas couldn't see anything more than mere silhouettes in the stodgy gray firmament of clouds and embers. The smoke was thicc and deadly. Infact, so much so that Lucas had to cover his mouth with his arm and hope for the best...

Some smoke cleared, but only a little bit. In the small clearing stood a child. Ness saw this as an opportunity to make friends. As the smoke cleared around the child, Ness walked towards him.

"Hello!", he said. "My name is Ness. Do you want to be my friend?"

The child didn't respond.

"Hello?"

The child slowly turned around. He had no eyes. His nose was dripping with blood that slowly drizzled down his chin. He opened his mouth, to smile at Ness, obviously. Half of his teeth were missing, the remaining ones sharp and yellow.

"yOU sHouLdn't bE hERe."

"What do you mean?", Ness asked.

The child repeated himself, making Ness shiver.

"Ness! Get out of there!", Lucas shouted, but it was too late.

**There was SUPPOSED to be a battle here, but Alex/ 64foxball put the battle on a different doc for some reason, and never shared it with me, so I'm just skipping it. Basically, Lucas and co. beat him and he runs away.**

Meanwhile, Waluigi was watching in on Lucas' journey the entire time. "So,"he said. "That kid just found one. But I mean, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, he let one get WA away. Hmm, he's doing okay, but, I mean, _okey_, heh heh. But what if I did my original idea? He's strong. VERY *insert WA* strong. He could help me take control over the other gods… But This plan I have now is foolproof. Waaaaaa… THEY'RE BOTH SO-"

Boom. The god of future and fate split into two different people!

"The boy must complete his quest! WAA!", said the first one.

"I must find the boy! WAA!", said the second.


	7. Kazoo

**READ THIS NOTE, PLEASE!**

**This story doesn't get many views, but I'm writing this anyway. Alright. I'm pretty sure a good majority of y'all aren't gonna read this, but I'm saying it anyway. There's something wrong with my hands, I think. I described the symptoms in more detail on my profile page, so please check it out. I'm posting similar author notes in other stories. THANKS!**

The two Waluigi's stared blankly at one another.

"Hey!" the first one shouted. "I'm the original. What the WA are you doing here?!"

"No!" said the second one. "I'M the original. What the WA are YOU doing here?!"

"Liar. You better leave WA right now."

"No. I don't want to. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Don't make me-"

"NO."

The first one was weirded out by his doppleganger. "Fine," he sighed. "How about *insert wa* we just both do what we need to do. WAAA"

"I guess, wa, but we should probably go to separate rooms."

"Sure. Wa."

**SEPARATE WAYS (WORLDS APART) BY JOURNEY BLASTED IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING.**

The two left for different rooms. In the room of Waluigi I (that's what I'm now calling him), he sat down and closed his eyes. Using his godly psychic powers, he checked to see what Lucas was up to. Nothing much. He opened his eyes and started reading *weird* magazines. In the room of Waluigi II, on the other hand, things were different.

He thought about what to do. "Hmm... Waaa... How do I get that boy? Waaa... Eureka!"

Waluigi II snapped his fingers. Before him stood an edgy-looking angel, probably in his mid teens. The angel looked tired grumpy, annoyed, and REALLY EDGY.

"What'ya want."

"WAA ha ha... You said you wanted to help me overthrow the other gods, right? Waa..."

"I guess. I'm sick of nature."

" you kidnap someone for me?"

"Uh, what?"

"It's a boy, but you shouldn't assume genders."

"I never was."

"Any-WA-way, he looks like he's in about sixth or seventh grade, maybe eighth, he has blonde Jimmy Neutron hair, always looks sad, torn clothes, big eyes, WAA, could you get him for me?"

"Sure. Why not."

"Great."

Waluigi II snapped his fingers. The angel disappeared in front of him.

Wherever Lucas was, things were different. Ness was still sad he didn't get to be friends with the other kid, and Lucas had to give him a talk about the matter.

Lucas sighed. "Ness... look. I know having more friends may seem awesome to you, but you need to actually know someone before you can be their 'friend'. You understand?"

"Yeah I guess.."

Joey chimed in. "That's right, you need to know someone for a while to be their friend. Like me and Lucas, for example!"

"We've only known each other for, like, six hours, actually."

Ness couldn't take this anymore. "I WANT MORE FRIENDS!"

"I'll be your friend," said a voice. "Your SPECIAL friend."

"R-really?"

"Of course!"

"Uh, how?"

"Just kazoo it!"

"Hey!", Lucas shouted. "Who's there?"

"Me," said a 36-year-old man as he approached the group. "_I'm_ here."

Lucas stared the man down. "And you are..."

"I'm your special friend!"

"And your name is..."

The man smiled, got out a kazoo, and played some ear-killing notes. "I'm... Brett!"

"Why are you here?"

"There was a child in need. He needed a special friend!"

Lucas stared at Brett with a face of "wut to hek", but didn't say anything.

Brett looked kindly at Ness. "Kid in the hat. What's your name?"

"I-I'm Ness-"

"Well, Ness, how would you like to be my special friend?"

Stars nearly formed in Ness' big eyes. "Th-th-that would be awesome!"

"Can I be your special friend too, Brett?", Joey asked.

"Of course!", Brett responded. "Anyone can be MY special friend."

"Hey, Joey."

Lucas motioned for the big Chimera to come over to him. He did.

"What is it?", Joey whispered back.

"I don't know", Lucas mumbled. "But this guy seems sketchy."

Joey looked confused. "How?"

"Nevermind. It's getting dark. We should go to bed."

"Okey," Ness said. "But I want something comfy."

"I'm really squishy," Joey noted. "And I sweat cotton candy."

"REALLY?!", Ness and Brett asked. Lucas rolled his eyes.

"I know this may sound crazy," Ness stuttered. "But... But can I sleep on you?"

"Sure!"

"Can I?", asked Brett.

"Totally! Hey Lucas! Wanna sleep on me?"

Lucas looked _really_ uncomfortable. "What is wrong with you people?!"

Joey was offended. "I'm am NOT a person."

"LET'S JUST GO TO BED."

"Okey."

Lucas tried not to scream and shoved a pile of leaves into his face.

"Is he okey?", Ness asked.

"Don't worry," Said Joey. "He's just a teenager."

"So am I," Ness whined.

"Well then", Brett said. "You're a growing boy. You need to get some sleep. Good night, special friends."

Lucas breathed in deeply and sighed. "Night."

The young angel, born fallen, approached the camp.

"Target found. " He chuckled. "This will be easy."


	8. Angel

Lucas was akake, but he couldn't see anything. His eyes were closed. He could, however, hear things. Rustling feathers, a complaining teenager, A KNIFE, tape noises. He managed to open his eyes. He was NOT in the woods anymore.

"What the... What's going on?"

A dark angel who had been standing there the entire time twitched hearing the noise of someone's voice. He looked over. Oh. His victim had just woken up. He walked over to the kid. The kid looked very, very confused by the situation.

Lucas was very, very confused by the situation. The dark angel looked at him like a moose.

The dark angel decided to talk. "You're Flex Taped to a chair. The chair is Flex Taped to a wall."

"Then aren't I technically Flex Taped the the wall?", Lucas asked.

The edgy angel was not amused by the statement, but kept going.

"If you remove it, it will REALLY hurt your arm hairs. And legs hairs. Poor by your age I'm guessing puberty has done enough to your arm hairs already. Heh heh."

"Wait," Lucas said. "SO YOU KIDNAPPED ME TO GIVE ME A PUBERTY TALK?!"

"Wait, what?", the edgy angel asked. "No! It's just, I don't know. The only one who can remove the tape without pain is Waluigi."

"So... you work for him?"

"Not by choice."

"Oh great..." Lucas muttered. "He's got slaves now? That's pretty illegal."

"No it's just- I'm an angel. Angels have to work for gods or whatever. I use to work for a nature goddess, but she was annoying. I tried to overthrow ALL of the gods like Shaggy, Arceus, Kirby, and Shrek, but I ended up with THIS creep. Oh crap I hope he didn't hear me... Anyway, it's actually kinda nice. He gives me FREE UNLIMITED flight."

"And you're an angel," Lucas questioned. "But you can't fly?"

"You're a seventh grader and Waluigi calls you Thanos?", the angel snapped back. N.

"Why am I even here?"

Lucas tried to move his arms, but they were taped behind him. The chair was one of those cheap school chairs what your leg hairs stick to and are EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Lucas hated it.

"You're here because Waluigi thinks you can help him overpower the other gods with your 'Thanos power'."

Just as Lucas was about to respond, an ominous crunching noise was heard in the distance.

**Lucas:** what is that

**Dark****Pit: **i dont know

Joey bursted into the room through aan unseen door.

"H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-how did y-y-you get in h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-here?!", the dark angel boi said.

"A DOOR."

"..."

"Anyways," Joey said slapping his flipper on the wall. "You're an angel, you look like Justin Bieber, I am going to eat you."

"Wait," Lucas asked. "Why?"

"Narwalcornihorns are natural predators of angels. Angels taste very yum."

The edgy boi with wings flew for the door, but it was too late.

Dark Pit was eaten alive by a narwhal.

"Wa. Just like Jonah and the Whale," Waluigi II said as he walked in.

"I HATE THE BIBLE!", Lucas screamed.

"How did you get in, jerk?", Joey asked.

Wa, the door, jerk," said Waluigi II.

"Hey can you help me with this tape?", Lucas whined. He hated school chairs.

"ONLY if you work for me."

"nope"

"Wa, let's do this... waaaaa hahaha. The hard way. WAAAAAAAAA"

*wa intensifies*


	9. Alchemy

Waluigi II was cackling. He thought everything was haha funny.

"Don't worry," Said the narwhalcornihorn. "I have friends."

Ness and Brett ran in.

"Me and my special friends will stop you," said Brett.

Waluigi II still thought it was funny. "Wa, there's only three of you. So wa if you Jonah-and-the-whale-ed my slave. I'm a god, you four are peasants."

Ness was offended.

"ANYWAY," said Joey. "There's more of us."

There were? Lucas was confused, but just as he was confused, a larger group appeared.

Batman! MatPat! An OC that is completely irrelevant to the plot! Barack Obama! Young Anakin Skywalker! Steve and Jonesy! Bob Ross!

That was a lot of people. Lucas struggled, but the strong tape held him down. Tight. He could barely move. The urge to run around and/ or punch someone, like a normal 13-year-old, gre greater and greater. Stupid Flex Tape! He sighed, and watched the others do what he loved. Fight. Being held captive sucked. If only he could fight... Eh.

Waluigi II was shocked by the amount of people. Waluigi I was winning, if that was the case. Errrrrrrrrrrrr. And he knew he couldn't beat the army. He snapped his fingers. In a puff of purple smoke, he vanished. As he did so, Joey felt a sudden feeling of emptiness in his stomach and a pang of hunger. Waluigi had removed the angel. Drat. Everyone looked around. Waluigi II was gone. It was disappointing, because everyone wanted to fight. If there was no enemy, there was no fight. No fight, no fun. Uhg. They waited for Joey to say what to do next.

Joey was too sad to say what to do next. His food had disappeared out of his stomach! GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE...

"Let me guess, you forgot about the tape, didn't you?"

Everyone looked at Lucas. He was pinned down with Flex Tape, making him unable to move everything besides his mouth. Waluigi II never said it out loud, but he was actually really angry at his slave. The angel pinned down the boy by taping his wrist to wrist and ankle to ankle, and then taping his arms and legs to the chair itself, but he didn't cover the mouth! If there was one thing the two Waluigi's hated about Lucas, it was when he talked. Lucas was a rebellious thirteen-year-old, and he loved to show people that in words. He was usually quiet and timid, but when he got the chance to yell at someone, he would yell at someone. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the Waluigi's hated it. And they hated Lucas. They especially hated when Lucas did it.

Joey had no idea how to fix the Flex Tape situation. No one did. Flex Tape was so god damn strong that if you took it off of your skin it would be like puberty 2.0. It was hard, until another kid appeared, or a short teen, I guess.

"Looks like you could use some Alchemy."

"What is alchemy," Ness asked.

"THE LAW OF EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE!"

"That kind of info is too big for me noggin," Brett mumbled.

"Happy little confusion," said Bob Ross.

"It's just science."

"Wait a minute." Said Brett. "Who ARE you?"

"bruh"

"What does bruh mean?", Ness asked.

"bruh," said Lucas

"What?", asked Ness.

"YOU UNCULTURED SWIIIIIIINE," Jonesy screamed while doing the default dance.

"Look who's talking," said Steve. "Fortnite is ded."

Jonesy was amgry.

"THE FLEX TAPE" Lucas shouted.

"oh, right," said the short teenager as he clapped his hands like so. Amazingly, the Flex Tape vanished into thin air.

When Lucas got up, the first thing he did was punch Ness in the arm. Lucas liked punching people.

"Wow," said Lucas.

"The land of make believe!" said Brett.

"I prefer America," said Barack Obama.

"Joey, can I ask you a question", Lucas whined in a whiney voice. "Why are there so many people? Before I was kidnaped, there were only two. Now there's like, what, ten?"

"If you count us, there's twelve. If you count the guy who just appeared, thirteen."

"WHAT THE HELL I HAVE A NAME YOU BAS****!"

"Woah, that's language," said Lucas.

"What does hell mean," Ness asked.

"It's where you'll go if you keep asking what stuff means," Lucas threatened.

"Lucas, be nice!", said Joey.

"Can we leave this place now," someone said, but Lucas didn't care who it was.

"Sure," said Lucas, who was the leader again now that he was back. "You comin?" He asked the short teenager.

"I guess."

"Welp," said Brett. "I'm writing a special friend guidebook. What is your name?"

"Edward Elric."

"Any other names?"

"the Fullmetal Alchemist"

"Age?"

"I refuse to answer that," Edward said. He didn't want to be teased for being short.

"Whatever you say!", said Brett as he wrote down "Age: Unknown" in his notes.

MEANWHILE

"Wa, you're covered in rainbows. Take a bath kid."

"But that wastes water."

"Wa how about a shower?" Waluigi II was annoyed.

"My wings would probably get damaged in the water."

"Cover em with plastic wa wrap?"

"Plastic is bad for the environment."

"WAAAA! That nature lady has poisoned your brain, kid." Waluigi II couldn't take it anymore. "TAKE A SHOWER, COVER YOUR WINGS WITH PLASTIC. I'll get the followers to make you a change of clothes."

"ooooooo can it be from Hot Topic?"

"I don't know wa wa wa that is, but I'll attempt to wa replicate it."

The edgy angel boi walked to the shower room. When he saw his reflection, he almost barfed. After being in Joey's stomach, he was covered in glittery rainbow slime. The slime was all over him, and it made his hair wet. When his hair was wet, it was no longer messy. It looked REALLY bad like that. He sighed, covered his wings in plastic wrap, and took a shower. After getting out of the shower, he put of the oversized T-shirt and lounge pants he slept in, undid the plastic, and carefully washed the slime off of each individual feather to not damage his delicate black wings. He also made sure to let his hair dry before being seen by anyone. Floppy hair made him look like a prep. Ew.

He then approached Waluigi II.

"I'm done."

"Goody goody WA goody." Waluigi looked at the winged kid. The angel was sleep deprived. "The followers made you this."

The edgy angel was expecting a pear of those hideous purple overalls, but he surprised to see a midnight purple tank top with a drawing of the scorpio symbol embroidered on the bottom left (Pit broke the mirror in early November). The back of the shirt buttoned up so he could actually wear clothes properly, while still having wings. Nice. The shirt came with a pair of black basketball shorts with blood red stripes coming down the sides. He was shocked that his annoying god would actually do something nice for him.

"Wa, go change." said Waluigi II. "I gave you that comfortable stuff for a reason."

Just as the angel was about to actually feel happy about something for the first time, Waluigi II continued talking.

"That wa reason is because I have plenty of work for you to do. WA! I thought it would be easier for you to do work if you're wearing loose, comfortable clothes.

Dark Pit died inside, but did as he was told.


	10. Chores

"Were you crying in the bathroom just now?", Waluigi II asked the angel boy after he finished getting changed.

"What?", the angel lied. "No... I-I wasn't crying..."

"Whatever. Get to work. Wa."

"Wait, what do I do?", he asked, trying not to roll his eyes.

"Make me lunch."

"Whatever," the winged-kid said.

"WA DID YOU SAY TO ME?"

Dark Pit's wings trembled. "S-sorry, I mean yes, sir."

Cruel gods, never letting angels express themselves.

"That's wa I thought. Make me an eggplant hoagie."

"We don't have any eggplants. You ate them all."

"Waa... Can I eat your brother?"

"Huh?", confusion fell over him. "You mean... Pit."

"Wa, yeah. He can turn into an eggplant, right?"

"What? Not really."

"Wa, then can you steal one?"

"From... where?"

"My..." Waluigi II froze in place. "My ex-wife."

"No offense or anything," Dark Pit said. "BUT YOU WERE MARRIED?!"

Waluigi II stared into the distance. "Her name was Megan. She was WA beautiful… We had a kid, two, in fact. There was a large age difference between them. My son. He grew up to be so great and famous… My daughter… today's her half birthday. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa. She's turning seven and a half today. Megan always hid the fact that she was a demi-god from her. MY son was raised wa safely, but after Megan and I divorced, she treated my poor wa daughter like property. No vaccines, no meat, no dairy, friends, no school, no books, no TV, no video games, wa. That poor girl… Wa, I don't even know if my daughter is still wa alive right now. My daughter's name… Her name was Gemma."

"Oh, um, sorry?"

"Get me an eggplant," Waluigi II commanded, wiping a tear from his eye. "Here. This is her address."

"Uhhhhhg. Okay"

"now, wa, go!"

"Sure. Thanks," the angel said, zooming away, since the power of flight was unlimited with Waluigi.

Just as he left, Waluigi I bursted through the door that separated the two sections. Waluigi II gasped.

"Two, why do my cameras wa wa wa I attached to the boy show that he was HERE?!"

"Uh, wa?"

"You kidnaped him, didn't you." *insert wa

"Wa... It was the angel!"

Waluigi I sneered. "Oh, really? WA ha ha. YOU are controlling that angel. Wa... Hey... now I think about it, how come YOU got the angel AND all of the Followers? I don't thinks so!"

"Wa? (Heh heh. Heh. Heh heh heh)

"Angel boy!", Waluigi I shouted. "Where are you?! Wa!"

"Um, wa, about that..."

"Wa-ht?"

"He's... on a mission."

"A WA?! WHERE?!"

"I mean, I sent him to wa an eggplant."

"Wa," Waluigi I considered. "Maybe you don't have that bad of taste."

"yup."

"Let's wa make a deal."

"Wah?"

"Imma gonna let you keep the angel. Wa. However, if you get the angel, I get two thirds of the Followers. Deal, wa?"

"Hey! The angel isn't that great. Wa. He's really sassy. And stubborn. wa"

"Wa, but he isn't a mindless puppet," said Waluigi I. "He's a living thing. Wa? His mom is a literal mirror or some wa. He has real emotions. He can do actual things, make his own (wah) decisions. That is valuable."

"Fine."

"Wa, is it decided?"

"Yeah, so the angel's still mine. W-w-w-w-WA ha ha!"

Meanwhile, with Lucas and his friends party...

"Stop dragging your feet!", Lucas commanded the other thirteen-year-old.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," Ness stuttered.

"You should be."

"Lucas," Joey said. "Why do you always target him?

"Targeting?", asked Lucas. "Whad'ya mean? I wasn't _targeting_."

"Yeah, sure," Edward muttered.

" not targeting," said MatPat.

"Targeting's bad. I'm Batman," said Batman.

"Honestly, now it just seems like you guys are targeting ME."

"Lucas," Joey said, putting a flipper on Lucas' shoulder. "You have to be nicer to Ness."

"BUT HE'S SO GODDAMN ANNOYING! Sigh."

"What does goddamn mean?", Ness asked.

"It's a curse word," said Anakin. "Kids aren't supposed to say it."

Humiliation fell over Ness. He accidentally cursed. Uh oh. He said a no no word.

"Whatever, let's keep going," the leader leaded everyone.

"Wait a minute," said brett. "Where ARE we going?"

"Uh, I don't know, where ever we find non-chimera people?", said Joey.

"Hey, Ness!", Lucas called. "You want more friends, right?"

"Yeah!"

"If you want more friends, you'll need to keep going."

"okey."

"I..." Lucas awkwardly looked around. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that just now."


End file.
